Under Construction

The past few weeks I have been re-evaluating many aspects of my life. Moving around will certainly cause some serious inner soul searching. As I am trying to figure out what I am called to do, here in Hattiesburg, I began questioning the purpose of this blog. Who was really reading it and why? Was it simply an informative blog telling a story about Miss Harper Faye; was it a source of information to update all friends and family in a nice and neat package, was it a Down syndrome 101 blog or a ministry disguised as all of the above? I began wondering if I should continue it at all. Was I just a bunch of hot air? It seems everyone has a blog these days. Cooking blogs, crafting blogs, techie blogs, daily life blogs, etc., so why just one more out there to clutter the internet? I have also been praying for what God is calling me to here and have felt a strong pull deeper into the special needs community. However, the more I learn, the more I simply find I don’t know so why should anyone read about what I have to say? With all of these questions still pending, I decided to enter another post and at least update everyone from where I left off last. I eagerly went to my computer, turned it on, quickly typed in the blog address and encountered the log in page. Hmm, that’s funny, I don’t remember having to log in before (as my computer has all of that information stored). Nonetheless, I entered my email address and password and pressed enter, then nothing. I raced to type them in once again and still nothing. A few more frantic attempts but my entire blog was gone. Deleted. Nonexistent. I sat with the sinking feeling knowing I had just lost every detail, emotion and milestone I had captured for Harper since her birth. I began scrambling to recover any and all posts I could. A little voice inside kept asking why was I so committed to restoring 14 months of information if I had just been questioning its very importance. In a brief few seconds, I realized just how much this blog does matter and the need to continue to tell her story. In a mere 11 hours, I was able to recover all of the posts, however lost the blog address for good.


Could God have been trying to tell me something more in the midst of my floundering? If this blog was just a means for me to vent or a form of therapy, then why should I care if there was to be another post or not? The answer really is quite simple. God doesn’t give us any gift or talent, no matter how large or small, for our own pleasure. He gives them to us to use for His glory. “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Colassians 3: 23-24 I believe Harper is a gift and writing is a talent and He wants me to share her and her story with all whom will listen (or read) as a way to show others His presence through all we may encounter on this journey. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17 Harper’s story and my faith will be constantly interwoven in the fabric of our lives. I cannot separate the two.  And while I feel inadequate in many respects towards Down syndrome, I certainly know God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called. With all of this being said, Harper Faye’s new blog will be ‘under construction’ for quite some time but as always, should you know someone else who may benefit from this blog, please do not hesitate to pass it forward. Whether it is a new mom to a precious Down syndrome baby not knowing how to fully accept such a gift, a child of God who has strayed from their foundation in faith or a lost lamb not yet knowing what they may need, I pray this blog be a blessing to them all as it has been to me. I have reposted the story from the beginning, on this new blog, however it will be a while before I am able to upload the pictures as it was originally. I was able to gain a lot of insight through this experience. When God gives you a talent, use it and don't allow Satan to place doubt in your mind or heart to think or believe you aren't good enough. Remember, God doesn't make mistakes and His special plan for your life will blossom and grow if you just plant it firm in your life.