It's official, Harper has her first cold from her big sister Hadley. With the starting back to school, it was bound to happen sooner or later. We have since had a conversation about staying away from Harper's face and hands. This is very difficult as I catch big bro and big sis stealing kisses from her constantly. What a great problem to have though :) The minute they get into the car, after school, they say her name with such excitement and enthusiasm, it does a mommy good. They genuinely have missed her just as I have 'misseded' (as Hadley would say) them.
We made our way to the public library the other day and I took the opportunity to check out a few books regarding Down Syndrome. I have come to the place in our journey where I am interested and curious about other's experiences. The first was written as a 'guide' to DS and rendered useless for me at this stage for several reasons. I believe it would have been more beneficial information had I of learned about Harper's diagnosis prior to delivery. Possibly more reasuring if nothing else. Since we faced several surprises at that moment, surprise it's a girl then surprise she has DS, it all seemed to flow from one to another and it was just as matter of fact as all of her statistics were that day. What happened nine months prior, during cell division, seemed irrelevant to what was taking place in the present. It also, for that matter, didn't effect anything in that moment nor anything for us in the future. I had had no control over the matter nor was it a result of anything I had done so learning what 'caused' DS or why/how it happened, from this book or any other source of information ,was irrelevant to me. Let me just add this for the record. Knowing we are complete as a family is why I refer to why or how this happened as irrelevent. It won't play a role in the future of our family planning so I take on the attitude of what's done is done and we are to move forward, not look behind.
The book also addressed many of the complications typical DS babies face, which Harper has none of, praise GOD! Another chapter in this particular book was dedicated to adjusting to your baby. Adjusting to any baby is part of the process but it further described emotions one may feel such as: ego, grief, anger, resentment and depression, helplessness and acceptance vs rejection. Wow, pretty heavy stuff right there. Obviously, it is a topic needing to be discussed since there is an entire chapter devoted to dealing with these kinds of emotions. I am by no means downplaying any one who may have gone through these emotions, however, it wasn't my experience at all. The chapter also goes on to discuss how to tell your friends and family your child has DS. I found this a bit odd as well. My own personal conversations were possibly overshadowed by the other medical necessities Harper was dealing with, at the time, but I didn't struggle nor did I over analyze the conversations prior to having them. If they were truly my friends and family, I felt it should have been easy to discuss Harper's diagnosis as these would be the people who would help raise and support us through her life. Furthermore, they wouldn't be in my life otherwise. In my experience, if it seemed hard to tell someone, it could almost be deemed as an embarrasment or that something was 'wrong' with the child. Sparing all medical necessities, heart defects, internal organ issues, etc, I see nothing wrong with Harper. It is another one of those terms I am finding hard to use. Take a good look at every person. We were none created to be perfect there fore we all have something 'wrong' with us. We all have challenges we must face and overcome and what works for one certainly doesn't work for another. God doesn't make mistakes and I believe He certainly didn't get anything 'wrong' with Harper. She is just as He planned for her to be and for that I am eternally grateful. It is as I told Jacob just last night, Harper, or any one of our children, could have been born with a foot growing out of their nose and I would have loved them no differently. An adjustment, sure, but nothing short of another beautiful blessing from God.
Down syndrome, according to this book, was defined as a genetic condition with syndrome referring to a set of signs and symptoms which tend to occur together and reflect the presense of a particular condition. Now that is a definition I can live with. These similarities, such as a single crease in her left hand or extra space between big toe to second toe, are her trademarks and help classify her but certainly do not define her nor do they give any indication of what the future holds for Miss Harper Faye. Will she be an artist or a writer, I do not know but regardless, the future is where we are headed. Nothing in the past will ever determine what and where she will go. We are focused on the road ahead and although it may be the one least travelled by that we take, it will make all the difference for us! I have decided to return these books to the library for now as I am writing my own story. One which doesn't seem to parallel any others, from our first moments together, but is ours just the same. I do not claim to have all the answers and am simply forming my own opinion based on my own experiences.
We made our way to the public library the other day and I took the opportunity to check out a few books regarding Down Syndrome. I have come to the place in our journey where I am interested and curious about other's experiences. The first was written as a 'guide' to DS and rendered useless for me at this stage for several reasons. I believe it would have been more beneficial information had I of learned about Harper's diagnosis prior to delivery. Possibly more reasuring if nothing else. Since we faced several surprises at that moment, surprise it's a girl then surprise she has DS, it all seemed to flow from one to another and it was just as matter of fact as all of her statistics were that day. What happened nine months prior, during cell division, seemed irrelevant to what was taking place in the present. It also, for that matter, didn't effect anything in that moment nor anything for us in the future. I had had no control over the matter nor was it a result of anything I had done so learning what 'caused' DS or why/how it happened, from this book or any other source of information ,was irrelevant to me. Let me just add this for the record. Knowing we are complete as a family is why I refer to why or how this happened as irrelevent. It won't play a role in the future of our family planning so I take on the attitude of what's done is done and we are to move forward, not look behind.
The book also addressed many of the complications typical DS babies face, which Harper has none of, praise GOD! Another chapter in this particular book was dedicated to adjusting to your baby. Adjusting to any baby is part of the process but it further described emotions one may feel such as: ego, grief, anger, resentment and depression, helplessness and acceptance vs rejection. Wow, pretty heavy stuff right there. Obviously, it is a topic needing to be discussed since there is an entire chapter devoted to dealing with these kinds of emotions. I am by no means downplaying any one who may have gone through these emotions, however, it wasn't my experience at all. The chapter also goes on to discuss how to tell your friends and family your child has DS. I found this a bit odd as well. My own personal conversations were possibly overshadowed by the other medical necessities Harper was dealing with, at the time, but I didn't struggle nor did I over analyze the conversations prior to having them. If they were truly my friends and family, I felt it should have been easy to discuss Harper's diagnosis as these would be the people who would help raise and support us through her life. Furthermore, they wouldn't be in my life otherwise. In my experience, if it seemed hard to tell someone, it could almost be deemed as an embarrasment or that something was 'wrong' with the child. Sparing all medical necessities, heart defects, internal organ issues, etc, I see nothing wrong with Harper. It is another one of those terms I am finding hard to use. Take a good look at every person. We were none created to be perfect there fore we all have something 'wrong' with us. We all have challenges we must face and overcome and what works for one certainly doesn't work for another. God doesn't make mistakes and I believe He certainly didn't get anything 'wrong' with Harper. She is just as He planned for her to be and for that I am eternally grateful. It is as I told Jacob just last night, Harper, or any one of our children, could have been born with a foot growing out of their nose and I would have loved them no differently. An adjustment, sure, but nothing short of another beautiful blessing from God.
Down syndrome, according to this book, was defined as a genetic condition with syndrome referring to a set of signs and symptoms which tend to occur together and reflect the presense of a particular condition. Now that is a definition I can live with. These similarities, such as a single crease in her left hand or extra space between big toe to second toe, are her trademarks and help classify her but certainly do not define her nor do they give any indication of what the future holds for Miss Harper Faye. Will she be an artist or a writer, I do not know but regardless, the future is where we are headed. Nothing in the past will ever determine what and where she will go. We are focused on the road ahead and although it may be the one least travelled by that we take, it will make all the difference for us! I have decided to return these books to the library for now as I am writing my own story. One which doesn't seem to parallel any others, from our first moments together, but is ours just the same. I do not claim to have all the answers and am simply forming my own opinion based on my own experiences.
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